Establishing boundaries with any new animal is important. There are behaviors and tendencies that will only cause misery and strife in even the best relationship. At the end of the day, we as pet parents just want what is best for our pets, and what is sustainable for our families.
But what are the appropriate behaviors and habits with your pets? How do you find the most reliable tips among the millions of YouTube videos and how-to articles online? Who do you trust to make the best relationship between you and your pet?
Surprisingly, the answer is YOU! Evaluating the limitations of your family, home, and lifestyle is more than enough information to decide what is appropriate for your pet. The key to making these decisions comes down to answering one question:
What do I want my relationship with my dog to look like?
The rest truly is a choose-your-own-adventure book of possibilities! Of course, there are many possibilities of how you can explore answering this question. Some dog parents want a dog that will walk on a loose leash and will ignore all the outside stimuli while on walks. Some want a dog that can walk beside them safely off-leash while on a hike. Some want to be able to sleep with their dog in bed at night.
Some just want to be able to spoil their babies with stray crumbs of cheese and bread while making dinner in the kitchen and don’t mind the growing moan and droning of whimpers and begging that comes from it. (Yes, that person is me, and I’m not ashamed!)
At this point, dog owners, new and old, type the usual “What do I do” questions into Google. But I counter with the same question as before: What do YOU want to do? Dog trainers are paid to drop their experience and knowledge on you, but those trainers don’t live in your home. They don’t know the importance of sharing a couch and a bowl of popcorn with your pooch. And that’s okay, trainers by in large are trying to help you find THE TRAINER’S version of an ideal dog. If you spend enough time and money into listening to them, you will get that, THEIR VERSION of a perfect dog.
Make no mistake, many trainers have the experience and knowledge that is worth following. But if you don’t mind a dog sitting at your feet during dinner time, then who is someone else to tell you you’re wrong?
My best advice for all dog parents is find balance. Our girls sleep in bed with us and share the furniture because we like them to. We prefer dogs that are cuddlers. To balance that, we have made sure to teach them independence and have made a conscious effort to stave of separation anxiety in not only our girls, but also all of our fosters (either through kennel training, exercise, or other distraction methods). We can strike a good balance between love and independence, depending on the situation, and have put in the years of work to move seamlessly between them.
Let me also be clear, having control over the relationship with your dog does not mean you get to ignore them and only care for them at your convenience. Many animals we transfer in from around the country come from places where people think it okay to chain a dog to a tree and only interact when the dog needs food. That is never an acceptable way for a pet to be treated, and you as a pet parent still have a responsibility to regular care, training, and attention. If you don’t want to invest time and effort into a pet, then please don’t bother.
In the end, no matter what the YouTube trainers try to push on you, the relationship between you and your dog comes down to you and the limitations within your life. Enjoy the time you have together, and enjoy a cuddle from time to time! The world is a scary place, we’ve all earned to be spoiled.
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